HOW THE HELL DO I CONNECT WITH THIS THERAPIST?

 

In graduate school one of the huge topics discussed is how a therapist can build "rapport" with a client.

"Rapport" means a connection where conversation can flow and where each person feels pretty comfortable with the other. It doesn't mean perfection, but it means comfortable enough that your therapist can create a safe place to explore your emotions.

As a therapist, there are clients where I feel that I am throwing everything I know out on the table and the connection doesn't grow. No matter how skilled a clinician I hope to be, sometimes it's hard to "click." 

So do you need a new therapist if you don't click? The answer is maybe.

When I don't click with my client I try to be as blunt as I can be in a respectful way. I ask my client what brought them to therapy, what I can do to make them more comfortable, and that they can use therapy as the space to bring ANYTHING that bothers them and feel supported.

If another few sessions go by and it's still awkward... that may be the sign that you don't "click" and it's perfectly OK to move on.

You can tell me that I am not the right therapist for you. It won't hurt my feelings, I promise.