WHAT DO I SAY TO START THE SESSION?

 

Each time I start a therapy session, I greet my clients. I say the normal "How are you?" or "How is your day?" My clients tend to reply with the same. These formal greetings can be especially uncomfortable during a therapy session. How can I be doing "fine" and then talk to my therapist about all of my trauma or problems?

You never have to be "fine" and you also can start the therapy session any way that works for you. If these typical greetings allow a moment of courtesy, then by all means engage in these typical introductions.

But, if these phrases make you feel akward, then you can skip this piece. Therapy is not a conversation between coworkers or friends. Therapy is the safe space where you become vulnerable and talk about the most stressful of moments. If you are not "fine" that is acceptable. If you need to jump into a situation in the first 5 seconds of the session, this is your space so absolutely jump to your priorities.

Always be courteous to your therapist, but remember this conversation does not require formalities. If you are not sure about how you best transition from "normal" conversation to therapy, ask your therapist to start the session with a more direct question. Instead of "how are you" a therapist could say "what is most important for us to talk about today?" Sometimes just this small change in tactic can allow the session to start in a comfortable and productive way.